atolnon: (Default)
( Oct. 8th, 2008 07:13 pm)
Now is a time for waiting.

When I'm honest with myself, I have to say that I'm pretty proud of how things have gone. Just, things have turned around pretty well, and with the support of friends and family, I haven't made it or anything, but things look like they're moving in a good direction. But while I'm not sure I should say that I've lost momentum in a long-term sense, I'm really at a phase of my plan (or whatever) where I kind of go down a list of things I need and just wait until I have the money for them.

So, it's a material issue, at the moment. I think it's funny how when you're broke, you just make do with what you've got because you're not getting anything else. But most of my clothing articles were showing signs of serious wear about 6 months ago, and I'm getting to the point where even my most basic possessions might not make it any longer. To be further frank about the situation, some of the things I didn't own, I borrowed, and some of the things I borrowed are pretty important, and it's really frustrating to finally get some income and realize that you have to get rid of a whole lot of it just to replace things that were going out when you started being broke.

That's mitigated somewhat by the realization that even when I worked at my last two jobs, I wasn't pulling in any substantial funds for automobile replacements, clothing, degrading furniture, or replacement of critical electronic parts (if my laptop goes out, you know, I'm in trouble).

And basically, now, I wait for a year and see how things go. This is really when that starts.

Oh, oh! November is NaNoRsomething. Yeah. I'm going to try that. Anyone else?
atolnon: (Default)
( Oct. 6th, 2008 06:09 pm)
Well, I flew down to St. Louis to, among other things, make Archon. Of course, if you consider the time I had at the convention and the cost of the things I brought back with me by themselves, I doubt it'd really be worth it. Besides being able to say that I did it, though, I really had my own reasons for returning. Not that I didn't have a good time, because I really did. It was a pretty great weekend, but when I left, I really can't say that I was completely stable yet. Coming back, even for a little while, gave me a much clearer idea of the place that I actually left, rather then my perception of things as I was flying away from it.

I'm not really missing the geography, in particular and I am still pretty enthusiastic about the Seattle area, (I'll probably be more enthusiastic once I've got a sounder ride. It's really pretty inconvenient to rely on other people for rides, not to mention trying for others.) but I was glad to be back for a while. I really wished that I had been able to pre-register, maybe get a room or something, and stay a little longer. It's really a product of circumstances then anything else. Considering the circumstances, I still think I did pretty well. ^_^

I'm kind of thinking that Archon gets tamer every year. On one hand, there's a little less rampant destruction (and I don't recall seeing the ambulance there this year) but on the other, I've always kind of enjoyed the spectacle. And, I dunno, if I was a little more pro-rampant destruction this year, who's to say? I was pretty enthusiastic about Wormtongues costumes this year, and if I could have gotten the vulcan costume, I think I would of, even if it's not really my thing. Bringing a liquor type for every alien race was pretty much the best part of that getup, though. As for me, there's always next year. If I can manage a good cosplay or costume, I really think I might. It's kind of a drag that I've never been able to manage much along those lines until right about now, but that's the way it is.

So, coming back has kind of me thinking about how I feel about moving in the first place. I'm still pretty positive about being here in the first place, but I'm still considering how I feel about what I'll do in the future. As it stands, though, I had a really good time. I'd kind of like to come back more often, but I'm not really gonna be able to afford that. Really, where I'm at now is waiting to see what my budget looks like and seeing what I want to do. It's pretty hard to say at the moment.
I promised Frank that I'd write up a vignette for his Exalted game, and I've kind of got a few other things that I said I'd write, so that's kind of what I'm up to, at the moment. I'm putting it off just for a bit, though, because I haven't really written anything for a while. Honestly, that's because nothing's really been going on; I've deliberately been kind of letting myself stay 'vacant', because I haven't really been sure how to deal with my current state. If that seems a bit extreme, it's really not; I just mean I've been kind of vegging because I'm not sure what my priorities are from here on out.

Like, I got work, and I'm up here for a year, so what do I do next? And I've been kind of tired, because I get up earlier and I spend most of my time sitting and trying to absorb a lot of data. It's not tough, but it's a little fatiguing. The nice thing is that it's not the kind of bone-numb exhaustion I'd experience earlier, which was really a lot like being severely jet-lagged all the time. It's just regular tired.

A couple of things have come to my attention, in the same way that you discover you've bought wine but own no wineglasses. For example, it occurred to me that I'm going to be staying with another friend for a while. It's a paying-rent situation, so I'm not just couch crashing; I'm renting a room. I don't, however, have a bed. So I get to decide how I want to deal with that. I really considered a Japanese-style futon, but they're uncomfortably expensive when I could get a regular futon for a bunch cheaper. Less portable, though. Eh.

So, I'm not totally sure, but I kind of need to get some things taken care of tomorrow where, if I'm not staying in Seattle permanantly (I haven't decided yet, and 'permenant' doesn't even really mean 'forever', or anything.) then I can at least exist here on a sustainable level.
I can has it.

So, after all the anxiety, the whole thing was a success, and I got a call today at around 5-ish saying that I got the position. Off and on, I tried writing various 'woot'-oriented posts, in which would have contained the core of both my exuberance as well as my ruminations about what this meant for me both now, and in the future.

Anyhow, this is a fairly big moment for me.

I feel strangely sedate about the whole affair, and I'm fairly sure that it's 'hit' me by now, so that's not it. The feeling is a little like a relieved 'it's about time, this is what I was trying to do the last few times', which is also true. At this point, I'm not a stranger to working full time, and I'm not a stranger to paying fixed expenses, looking for a new vehicle, or taking care of myself. The biggest things that are new is that I'm looking at what is potentially the most significant work-complexity level I've seen to date, and that I can expect a significant standard of living boost. Even the first of those two statements is questionable, because there was a considerable amount of in-depth detail to remember about proprietary systems and other issues surrounding Circuit City.

The other issue is something I'm a wee bit torn about. It means, in a real way, that I can expect to live away from Fairview Heights and the St. Louis area for at least a year, and that I need to finish what I started regarding transition. It makes sense that I didn't move over my bank accounts, my permanent Cam status, even my car, to the area before because there really wasn't a promise that I'd be staying. Now, I know that I will be, so these things suddenly must be resolved. There's a finality there that there wasn't in actually receiving the position.

So I guess that's the thing. I got the job! And I've been gone for two months, but the reality of moving sinks in, which is bittersweet.
atolnon: (Default)
( Jul. 21st, 2008 01:21 pm)
I love laundry day. I'm not even kidding. I'm supposed to be scheduled pretty soon for a few interviews, and the Borders interview is tomorrow, so I figured I'd clean all my clothing and stuff and just do some stuff I'd been thinking about. First of all, I'm trying to do my Changeling writeup, which is harder then I'd like. I've wanted to do Wintermute for a long time and to be honest, I might be able to just write up a character for it, but Brent never used is private eye concept, so I said I'd put some work into my agoraphobic occultist/technologist. And you know, I like Changeling, but it's missing something for me, and I think it's located in the Contracts department. I've got some really minor quibbles about kiths and shit, but Contracts just don't seem to do it for me.

Plus, I keep seeing this reference into Autumn Court occultists, but they don't really seem to be more magicky then any of the other groups, so. Anyhow.

I'm starting to look for an apartment, and I'm interested in living in Seattle as opposed to the outlying cities like Redmond or someplace like Issaquah. These places, there's nothing wrong with them. But I did want to move to Seattle, so. Only one of the jobs I'm applying for right now can make that happen though, and even though it looks promising, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd like something like 24k, because that fits my estimates of what I'll need better then anything else. No matter what the case is, though, I'm probably looking at a studio apartment unless I can get a roommate.  
atolnon: (Default)
( Jun. 27th, 2008 02:32 pm)
I had a good evening last night. Really unhealthy food, but hey, I was dying for something with chili on it for a long time. I don't know if you're been privy to this rant yet, but in short, if I order something with chili on it, chili needs to cover it. No lame cups of chili. Still, man, that chiliburger was massive. You know what that means.

Lunch tomorrow. Or, rather, today. I totally ate the rest of that burger, so it's healthy eating for the rest of the week right?

Oh snap. It's Friday. So let's reset that timer, shall we? ^_^
Still, I lost some muscle weight and gained some fat weight, so I shouldn't take that too far. Walking and various exercises should clear up some of the lost muscle weight. I'm not going to worry too much about having put on weight though. I'm more concerned about the sedentary lifestyle I'd been working on for several months. Activity is definitely increasing my energy level.

Anyhow, it was my first trip into the city, which was fun. I mean, there's a subtle difference between Seattle and St. Louis besides hills and trees, and it's heavily dependent on the area. The truth is, I like a lot of areas in downtown St. Louis and the like, but crossing the floating bridge but day and night was pretty.

I finally got around to ironing out Atol on the spreadsheet, spending the banked xp that I'd earned from games and the bump to MC 3. The results are really pretty stunning with just a few bumps. Still, I had a few things go from 3 to 4, and a level 3 Rote, so I'm going to need to ask around and do a little OOC legwork to make sure its kosher. Nothing seems off about it, and the only thing I did that might surprise anyone is totally forgoing the Fame merit at all, since part of the IC dialog I had last game revolved around how Atol was leaving on a musical pilgrimage of sorts because he couldn't get his sound right and his band never took off. (Several band members left, in game, so.)

I'm doing the NPCs for the Exalted game, and kind of like how straight-forward the Dragonblooded Charms are compared to Solar or, especially, Sidereal Charms. They have the smallest Essence pools, so over a long period, their Charms are designed to be as efficient as possible, so you see a lot of '1 Mote per X' costs in their Charm trees. Without looking harder at the overall mechanics, I think the DB book is one of the best and most flavorful.

After working with the Mage and Camarillia spreadsheets, though, I kind of wish someone had done the same thing for 1st Ed. Exalted but since there never was a LARP for Exalted, there's not a lot of call for it.
atolnon: (Default)
( Jun. 26th, 2008 01:34 pm)
Trying to get things in order up here. I've been told I should be able to expect a resume in my email from my mother, who has a better idea of what websites I wrote copy for then I do at this point, since she's got the records for it. I haven't, though, so I'm trying to edit my old resume to better reflect my current experiences, including new addresses and references.

References are always the constant pain in the neck, and layout is an issue, but I really want this done by today. More likely tonight, though, sadly. Still, if I can get something acceptable, I'm told that things look optimistic. The concept of coming to Seattle and just getting a job and place is utterly surreal to me, after trying to get something close to home and things not working out as they did.

Airport officials don't let you take certain things, like shampoo and whatever, so I had to cram what I could in a Ziploc and buy the rest when I landed, including hair glue which I thought was hair gel, and now my hair is ever so slightly more aggressive then it usually is. Brent and I located a nice little tea shop which we might frequent again, and I went for a walk today that wasn't particularly productive, but it was nice to get out and stretch my legs a bit.

Still no pictures. My bad.

Getting ready to run Escape from the Blessed Isle, my Solar-oriented Exalted game, and looking for players besides Brent and one or two others. I think it could be run on just a few people, but I'd like at least three. There's been some brainstorming about an upcoming Dragonblooded and Sidereals game as well.
Well, I'm in Seattle, hanging out at Brantai's place. I've made a point to, somewhere, write my thoughts on what's going on and get some 35mm film, because the camera that [profile] viski had gotten me is still significantly better then the cheap digital camera I had access to, even if the digital was easier to upload.

I've got a journal, a blog, and a camera. So there.

The flight was both awesome and dull. I love flying, but it's not the experience it was. It's a third of a cup of soda and a tiny bag of peanuts, and the stewardess thought she was a comedian. But by and large, everything went smoothly and I even got a chance to grab a bite to eat in the terminal. We mostly flew over farmland, which is interesting in that it's laid out in giant squares, many of which are squaring a massive circle so that the ground below resembles more a child's collection of spilt Pogs then any kind of amber wave of grain. As we approached Denver, it was mostly just flat and brown, but crossing the mountains was really impressive. Giant, gray-brown peaks with snowy crevasses, I really had no sense of scale because there was nothing to compare them to but other, smaller mountains. The cabin grew chilly and I noted the mountains seemed much closer then the buildings we left had since takeoff.

Landing in the area was mostly the same as landing everywhere. The same chain restaurants in the terminals and the same struggling with baggage claim as some 10 yr. old inevitably climbs on the turnstile that say "Do Not Climb". I received a warm welcome from from everyone, and he took today off so he could hang out and get me acclimated to the area. I haven't seen much of the area, but the apartment is really nice, and it seems pretty pleasent, so I'm looking forward to getting around.

The downside? I finished Idoru long before I made it to Seattle, so I exhausted my computers batteries reading Exalted books, then had to read the in-flight magazine. >_>
atolnon: (Default)
( May. 27th, 2008 05:35 pm)
I've got this appointment at the vet for my rats tomorrow at 11:30 am. I've had it for a little while, but I didn't feel it was real important to let everyone at work know what I was doing on my day off, since it really doesn't apply to them. Got a message in my mailbox at work from yesterday saying that the boss has set up a mandatory meeting for 10 AM tomorrow without letting anyone know ahead of time.

It's for the night ops especially. They set it up for 10 AM. When we're usually sleeping. Like, we get off work at 8. And then the meeting is at 10. And it goes till noon. What is the other op supposed to do for 2 hours until the meeting? Stick around? Go home? How about me? They didn't inform me until last night in email.

So, I'm not going. No way. I'm turning off my phone and going to the vet.

In other news, my dad didn't really understand what I meant when I said I was going to move. He didn't really believe it until I told him I bought tickets for the 24th. The first thing he said was, "Well, I'll miss you here." which was actually pretty touching.

EDIT: Vet bill was huge. It was nearly 300 dollars to get my rats examined, and even if nothing had been wrong at all, I still would have walked out 80 dollars poorer due to exam fees. It's 40 bucks just to look at a rat, I guess.


atolnon: (Default)


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