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Semi-hiatus.
January has been a good month for updating my journal online, which is ironic since I've been seriously considering if I should post less frequently and steer my efforts somewhere they're likely to advance my personal goals. Logically, it's probably true that updating a journal like this shouldn't really interfere with my ability to do more strenuous work but practically, every time I sit down to write, I use up what I kind of think of as 'effort points'. It takes effort for me to structure my thoughts in prose and try to say something worthwhile and when I'm done - whether I'm successful posting here or not - I usually don't feel like doubling down and redirecting that writing momentum into anything else for the moment.
So I've been updating here more, and writing other stuff less.
I haven't really been doing anything useful. Part of that is because I'm so dead broke, even paying my phone bill gets a little stressful; my first paycheck was basically for two days, so I'm at the most awkward part of the pay cycle. I started my job at the beginning of January, and I'm not getting a real paycheck until the very, very end, so I can't really do anything that involves the expenditure of resources. The other bit is that I've spent a lot of effort on stuff that doesn't matter at all. This journal, at least one bogus role-playing game, systematic mods that I'm passionate about but aren't even really useful for my own gaming sessions, and bits and pieces of pretend-academic writing are all pretty much bullshit.
Everything has a certain value, at least in consistently writing things and being accustomed to taking notes and getting thoughts together, but once you've been doing that for a while, wouldn't you agree that it's time to get your shit in order? There are things I want to work on, and all of it means that I'm either producing original work or working on real academic content, and the latter is just not likely right at the moment. If these are things I am really interested in doing, I have to work on doing them specifically. In large part, that means that I have to look very seriously at what my goals are and how to actually go about them, what goes into that kind of work, and so on.
I'm not going to delete the journal or even stop posting altogether. I don't know what this is going to turn into; it won't be largely different from what it is now, though. You'll find out just like I will, though.
So I've been updating here more, and writing other stuff less.
I haven't really been doing anything useful. Part of that is because I'm so dead broke, even paying my phone bill gets a little stressful; my first paycheck was basically for two days, so I'm at the most awkward part of the pay cycle. I started my job at the beginning of January, and I'm not getting a real paycheck until the very, very end, so I can't really do anything that involves the expenditure of resources. The other bit is that I've spent a lot of effort on stuff that doesn't matter at all. This journal, at least one bogus role-playing game, systematic mods that I'm passionate about but aren't even really useful for my own gaming sessions, and bits and pieces of pretend-academic writing are all pretty much bullshit.
Everything has a certain value, at least in consistently writing things and being accustomed to taking notes and getting thoughts together, but once you've been doing that for a while, wouldn't you agree that it's time to get your shit in order? There are things I want to work on, and all of it means that I'm either producing original work or working on real academic content, and the latter is just not likely right at the moment. If these are things I am really interested in doing, I have to work on doing them specifically. In large part, that means that I have to look very seriously at what my goals are and how to actually go about them, what goes into that kind of work, and so on.
I'm not going to delete the journal or even stop posting altogether. I don't know what this is going to turn into; it won't be largely different from what it is now, though. You'll find out just like I will, though.