atolnon: (Default)
( Aug. 28th, 2016 10:12 pm)
My last post felt like I made it forever ago but, no, just yesterday before the wedding event. Not long ago at all, though the feeling of time passing is always relative and wedding events - even ones that aren't your own - have a habit of being super-condensed temporal spaces. Whatever is happening, there's a lot of it. I think that's what happens when there are a lot of people for whom feelings are running high, where everything is potentially memorable, where everything is highly performative but ostensibly festive. Weddings, funerals, stuff like that - super dense. You get the impression that, suddenly, every experience is crammed into tight proximity whether you're experiencing it or not.

And so on.

I feel like I ought to talk about the wedding itself - the ceremony, the reception, the day-after get together, but I don't really have it in me. That's not to say that there aren't some fun details - surprisingly all good, no bad, a pleasant change of pace from the usual - but I'm afflicted with a socially induced malaise and anything I'd write about it would end up resembling a list with no ability to seperate the interesting from the dull and unrelatable.

Kay's been the +1 to a number of weddings, now. I've been the primary invited guest. To be expected, since I'm a little older. Several years after we all did the marriage thing - weirdly lumped together all at once despite, in some cases, dating or mutual habitation arrangements going back years. There's an easy explaination for it. Something about the economy and, once the first person gets married, an unspoken, nonspecific reaction is triggered, and everyone decides to get hitched. Comparisons exist about ripening fruit, but they're not polite, but it's catalytic, regardless - anyhow, several years after we did it, it makes sense that the next bunch of mid-late 20-somethings do something similar, providing they can afford to.

Being the plus-one at a wedding where you don't know anyone is a little strange. There is an established social protocol, as far as I can tell, which is that you get dinner, you should tip the bartenders, and you shouldn't hit the open bar so that it's obvious that you're largely here because the drinks are free and your spouse doesn't want to drive by themselves. To that end, you know, the night was a success. But, yeah, strange - because there are a lot of people here for whom this is a pretty profound and exciting event - a festival with a purpose that is clear but you are an outsider invited to participate but for whom the emotional responses only make sense through the understanding of a universal shared human experience. You're happy for the couple, but you don't know them or, indeed, anyone around you. Though, providing the conversation at the table is good, you still might make new acquaintances.
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