This might be a strange sentiment - I'm not sure - but I'm frequently unhappy with the quality of my entries. I mean, this is really just the place I go to dump ideas, so I should already be acclimated to knowing that my writing quality will be hit-and-miss; LJ is by far where you'll find the worst of my writing. I journal pretty frequently. It's almost always abysmal. I felt that way about my last entry. It was long, kind of self-indulgent, and I didn't really write about anything I wanted to write about, and nothing really got clairified internally.

That happens. Sometimes writing is a bust. The stakes are low.

During this whole last year, pretty much every thought got backlogged. It legitimately felt as though a thought happened but just got pushed. It was as though the thoughts crossed my mind and I just determined I didn't have enough energy or time to actually think them, and promised myself that when I had a spare moment, I'd investigate them later. Now they're many and confused, bubbling up haphazardly and all at once, getting tangled in each other. This is part of the project - clearing some of this mental space up. Recollecting and projecting forward. I think the solution to thoughts that are too bundled together is to do as the title suggests and simply slice them up; the problem is solved in the discarding. Whatever's important will come up later, and whatever's not won't.

There's enough going on that I'm not going to have to create makework for myself.

I've more or less already booked myself for the upcoming year. I want to run two Exalted campaigns, and I've got plenty of writing projects. There's a good chance I'll be spending almost all my time at home for the bulk of the year - Kay's started a new, much better paying job as of yesterday (causing both of us to change our schedules to accomdate a 5 A.M. wakeup time) and we only have one working car, now. Mine has needed some work but still runs well. Kay's car has been having issues consistantly since we were t-boned in a residental intersection we had the right-of-way in. What seemed like cosmetic damage was misdiagnosed by technicians who barely bothered looking. The car was totaled out years ago and still ran, to its credit, but suffered hidden structural damage that threatens to cause a catastrophic driving failure if we keep trying to run the vehicle.

So I'm in the home maker role, which I really don't mind. I do the bulk of the cleaning and cooking anyhow, and it's much cheaper to do the cooking from scratch. Writing, already important to me, is going to be something I'm actively pursuing for income. Aside from that, we'll see. I can't teach if I can't leave, though there is a bus system that could get me to the local community college without too much trouble. I was thinking hard about pursuing a teaching role ASAP, but it seems less likely than before. I honestly would prefer to take a semester off from serious academic or teaching work, at least. I'm just... fatigued.

I'd like to say that I'll read more or relax more in the upcoming year. It actually sounds pretty likely, but I probably won't end up reading all that much more. I'm just as invested in theory as I've always been, so that's not likely to change; I have a tremendous file of .pdf theory texts I'd like to read, and my archive bing pulled up a terrific number of sci-fi, dystopian, and cyberpunk essays ranging from focusing on feminist and post-colonial themes to deconstruction, post-modernism, and marxism. I'm going to try to mix it up with fiction. We'll see on that count.

It's been a little bit of an odd year for video games, for me. I don't really consider myself much of a gamer, to be honest. Not culturally. The gamer subculture is a particularly nasty cesspit, and this is already long, so I feel like there's just not any space for that here, right now. I haven't actually played many new ones, and a lot of my gaming revolves around stress-ball games, or the kind of thing I engage in when I have almost no mental energy left at all, but can't sleep yet. A good deal of Minecraft is like this - so is Civilization. So I've logged huge hours on those games but have played through relatively few complete games. The contrast to that statement is that I have completed the Xenosaga series, as well as having played through Undertail. Actually, I think both of those are worth talking about.

Putting some potential entries on the list. Good.

I wonder if I'll change anything about how I use this page in the upcoming year. Probably not. This has been a good place for me to just vent without any particular structure. LJ doesn't really take to anything more rigorous, anyhow.


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