Follow Up

Today is the very essence of a Sunday. I'm sitting with a comfortable sweater with a mug of Earl Gray a friend brought over. Friday, I stayed home and drank to calm my anxiety, which isn't probably very wise on the face of it. Into the evening, I got a little goofy. Like, nothing bad, just overly emotional. I've been something of a wreck; I'm really just keeping my head down, going to work, and staying home when I'm not there. 

I'd really like winter to be over. It's such a bullshit season, if you ask me. What's so frustrating to me is that there are three proper months to winter (though it seems like we've really just got a hot season and a cold season here), but the whole Christmas thing starts in mid-October and goes right up until Jan. 1st, but we've got no proper holiday spirit to buoy us from Jan. to Feb. 

If I had my way, we'd just have three months of low-level holiday buzz, lights, and holiday coffees, beers, spirits, and foods. Valentine's Day doesn't meet muster to me. It just feels like a late holiday grab after Christmas has run its course. I don't want presents, I just want some low-level cross-winter festivities that kind of ease the gray, cold days and long nights. I suppose I could start that, but all my friends seem to be partied out, and I haven't gotten paid yet even.

And that's kind of the roughest part. You wake up and bust your ass at work, but you don't have anything to show for it yet, and you're still going to have to pay off those debts and unpaid bills you accrued during your unemployed period. So, everyday, I tell myself 'keep your head down, it's not long now'.  

But, you know, today I'm drinking tea in my warm house and it's a day off. I'll have plenty of time to complain when I work Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Also, I think payday's Thursday. That's something to look forward to, also.