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[atolnon]

Black Friday, I guess, is the official start of the holiday season. As they say, it's the day when sales run over from the red to running in the black, but I think the ominous connotations are both fair and accurate providing you work retail. For me, though, it's just the day where I try to sleep off my hangover. That's all. That's the whole post.

Nah. Look, I don't really like holidays. My family often makes me uncomfortable, mostly because for a long time it was a little screwy, but it seemed otherwise normal and happy. Now, it's been divided and I get to do things like 'decide which parent I'm seeing on Thanksgiving' or 'decide who I'm visiting on my birthday'. None of my family are bad people, but we've all got our particular hangups, and I struggle not to get depressed. Dinner at my uncles house was great as usual, but Brandon and his girlfriend copped out literally halfway there which both irritated and kind of relieved me, leaving me kind of irritated at the relief. After dinner, I went to the Bistro myself for what I thought would be a really quiet evening, and it basically turned into a party which left me intoxicated and kind of acting like an ass, I think, probably.

And then someone shoved me, but I don't remember why, and I hit my head pretty hard. I think I was only out for a second, and people seemed concerned, and I tried to play it off like I'd been kidding. Ha ha, I'm not really unconscious! Not a good joke, guys. My head's stopped hurting, though, so that's good. You know, the thing is, I rarely know when I'm acting inappropriately. Everyone acts like everything is normal, then I wake up and think, "What an ass." and everyone's like, "Nah, that's fine."

"Really? That's fine? I'm evaluating these actions, and they seem almost universally poor."
"Yeah, it's ok."
"Wow."

What I'm getting at is that it's difficult to know when you're fucking up. Maybe I'm just insecure. Maybe I'm not fucking up at all. How could I possible know? I probably should just know, though.

But being a drunk weirdo aside, it was kind of like a fucking holiday special in there last night. Just about everyone turned up for this post-thanksgiving dinner bar thing, and I thought 'These really are my people. I really feel like this is my family.' and actually, because I was lit like a Christmas tree, I'm pretty sure I said it out loud. When I'm not being a total bag of dicks, I can be pretty sweet, I guess. Yeah, that's pretty heavily qualified, but that's probably the best I'm going to get. I mean well, though.

Ok, that really is pretty much it, now.

Comments

[asimaiyat.livejournal.com]

But being a drunk weirdo aside, it was kind of like a fucking holiday special in there last night. Just about everyone turned up for this post-thanksgiving dinner bar thing, and I thought 'These really are my people. I really feel like this is my family.' and actually, because I was lit like a Christmas tree, I'm pretty sure I said it out loud.

D'awwwwww!