Where is he now?

I feel like I need to issue a recap since vanishing for over a month than dropping a bomb like that on LJ, then vanishing again is kind of a weird, jerk kind of thing to do. I was talking directly to someone who'd read the entry who expressed concern, and so I figured I'd specifically mention that I appreciate the concern you guys have all shown to me. I'm not on the cusp of jumping off of a cliff, or anything - the feeling like actual, literal trash that morning was painfully real. The total loss of whatever happy, shielding chemicals in my brain left me feeling especially naked in the morning light; my resolution's pretty firm, but I'm not kicking myself every moment of the day. I felt like a jackass the next morning. People have acted a lot worse, but the stuff I'll put up with from others, I don't exactly abide in myself and since I don't like it, I might as well work on changing it.

I don't know if it matters to you, but I don't really believe in the whole abstinence thing. I know others do, but I don't assign any moral weight to that personally. I'm trying to avoid getting drunk and the easiest way to do that is not to drink, but I don't care about wagons, so if you hear that I've had a drink here or whatever, don't panic. I didn't fall off of or get on to anything. This isn't really about that, though. Basically I'm posting here to tell you I appreciate your messages and I'm doing well.

Actually, besides being broke as hell, I'm actually doing really well. I'm stressed, but that's okay. I've been busy enough that I haven't been prioritizing all that much introspection lately, so my journal's here and in paper has been pretty bare lately (which is a good part of why I'm writing here right now). I'm a little bit short on solid news, so I've been waiting until I had something to say, but because of all the other stuff, I decided to break radio silence for a minute. I'll talk to you here in a little bit.