atolnon: (Default)
( Oct. 16th, 2017 09:49 am)
I slept really badly last night, but got up pretty refreshed. I held off making coffee this morning, thinking I might go back to bed after I heard that my partner was making it into work okay, but although I'm bedraggled, I'm too awake to feel good about returning to bed - so I might nap later if I'm dragging badly.

The position I was hoping to interview for was closed was cancelled without being filled to save money. The government decided it didn't need the position anymore for whatever reason, so someone gets to mark on a sheet that they saved 65k yearly and I continue to, be unable to pay my bills on time. It was painted as a sure thing by the person leaving the position. She had held the position for a few years and was well respected - her manager - the regional coordinator - asked her to have me send in my resume straight away, which I did, and my previously having held security clearance was a huge plus, as was the previous work experience and advanced degree, as well as the fact I wasn't asking for any higher a salary. But the job doesn't exist anymore, and I'm disappointed, but I just can't feel surprise anymore. Any hope I exhibit is an act I put on as much for myself as for the people around me, but I just don't feel anything, anymore, to be honest.

I'm almost done playing through Metal Gear Solid. It's been okay. Clearly a PS1 game, exhibiting the beginnings of some new gameplay tendencies that will become legacy gameplay artifacts later (really interesting) while still carrying over older tropes onto the then-new platform (equally interesting). Since it appears I'll have plenty of time, albeit at odd hours, to play games, I guess I'll keep doing that.
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