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It's tough to know if I'll get hired, but it's August, so if I'm picked up for a position at the local community college, I'll know in about a week. If I do, I'll have about a week to prepare, which seems normal. I've been of the mind that it's very difficult to be sure, but with funding as low as it's been, it's dicey, so I'm not emotionally tied to the prospect of hiring - I'll give it a week, and look for something else. That's not optimal, but it is what it is. I think Kay is (or was) a lot more certain that I'd get a position because there are a lot of positions that need to be filled and not really a tremendous number of applicants, but not all of those positions can expect to be filled. Budgeting in Illinois was so dire that prior to this semester and the budget being passed (after an initial veto from the governor), a lot of classes were removed from the roster.
Frankly, there are a lot of teachers not being hired this semester, even though demand is there. Although public academia is increasingly operating from the logic of capital, public institutions don't get the bulk of their income from enrollment, so just because a lot of people need a class doesn't mean it will end up being posted. That said, I don't actually know. I'm just kind of putting it out there because I told people I was sending my CV out and actively looking for positions, and then they took it as a given that I'd receive a position, and that's genuinely not how it works. That's not like... being negative, or anything, though I have been accused of negativity based on that. I don't know a more straightforward way to put it.
I spent spring and early summer reading a lot. There's a good possibility that I slept on my deadlines too long, and that comes a lot from focusing on what was directly in front of me to keep from dropping into a bad depression. I think, if that's the case, than I didn't necessarily make the wrong choice in terms of strict priorities, but it was very much all I could do to stay marginally functional. Winter and spring were very difficult for me, and I honestly have no idea why. I couldn't sleep, I had a hard time focusing, and they were still better seasons for me than the tail end of my thesis writing. The problem, I think, wasn't the thesis itself, but the deep financial insecurity we were facing coming out of that period.
I wanted to talk about some of the stuff I had read, and what I was up to, but I guess I feel pretty nervous about my immediate future, and I feel guilty for having spent time not actively trying to look for work during this time period I was having a hard time functioning. Instead, I have to tell myself that even if one thing doesn't work out right this moment, if I look for it, something else could very well come up, and that's what I'll do until I can find what I want or need.
Frankly, there are a lot of teachers not being hired this semester, even though demand is there. Although public academia is increasingly operating from the logic of capital, public institutions don't get the bulk of their income from enrollment, so just because a lot of people need a class doesn't mean it will end up being posted. That said, I don't actually know. I'm just kind of putting it out there because I told people I was sending my CV out and actively looking for positions, and then they took it as a given that I'd receive a position, and that's genuinely not how it works. That's not like... being negative, or anything, though I have been accused of negativity based on that. I don't know a more straightforward way to put it.
I spent spring and early summer reading a lot. There's a good possibility that I slept on my deadlines too long, and that comes a lot from focusing on what was directly in front of me to keep from dropping into a bad depression. I think, if that's the case, than I didn't necessarily make the wrong choice in terms of strict priorities, but it was very much all I could do to stay marginally functional. Winter and spring were very difficult for me, and I honestly have no idea why. I couldn't sleep, I had a hard time focusing, and they were still better seasons for me than the tail end of my thesis writing. The problem, I think, wasn't the thesis itself, but the deep financial insecurity we were facing coming out of that period.
I wanted to talk about some of the stuff I had read, and what I was up to, but I guess I feel pretty nervous about my immediate future, and I feel guilty for having spent time not actively trying to look for work during this time period I was having a hard time functioning. Instead, I have to tell myself that even if one thing doesn't work out right this moment, if I look for it, something else could very well come up, and that's what I'll do until I can find what I want or need.