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What do you do if you love your character but don't like the game they're in? I deal with that pretty often - often enough that you hear about it, too. When I was talking to Brent, another player and myself were asked by all assembled why I continued to play even though at this point, all I had were complaints. I know that it's personal, is why. Because I said I'd sit down and if I leave, it'll be taken as personal slight, and I just don't need that on my plate. At this point, I'm not even sure if it'd be wrong to say it was personal, because my ire is becoming so. But the game is winding down, I like the other players and the character dynamics, and I like playing my character - or at least I used to, before role playing at all had been considered worse then a waste of our ST's time.
This is what happens when, intentionally or not, the gaming environment turns into what's basically an abusive relationship.
How does that happen?
Number One : Make it personal. Players who have questions, reservations, or problems with something in the game have a problem with you. If they don't like the game, they don't like you. Questioning a ruling or pointing out a rule is undermining your authority.
Why Does This Suck? : This is one of the big ones. If everyone is always having a good time, then there doesn't appear to be a problem. In fact, it may never appear that there's a problem, but what's happening is if people know that you'll take it personally if they speak up about something they're not happy with, they may just not say anything at all and all that resentment tends to fester.
How to tell if it's happening. : Do you have arguments when there's a disagreement about gaming in general? Do you actually get mad? Is there a right answer for every question? Then there's a pretty good chance you're taking criticism a little too personally. Alternatively, if nobody ever has any problems or issues at all, or nobody ever talks about your game afterwards, there's a good change they're afraid to talk to you about it or feel it's not worth the trouble. If, when someone does, it becomes a huge deal that takes up a lot of time, it may not be just the player. I mean, it might. You should ask the other players for their honest opinion about you, and ask what the problem players beef is.
How do we fix it? : Take a step back. Take a really good look at your player dynamics. Are they quiet a lot? If there's a discussion, and you weigh in, do they ever voice an opinion? How do you actually feel? What happens if someone wants to break out a rule book and double check something? Do you feel offended or slighted? Once this starts, it can be difficult for players to trust you again. If you suspect this is the case, try to listen to their opinions and be fair. It's not all about you - they're here to have fun, too. If there's a problem with a ruling, maybe ask the group what they feel is fair in general. You might get a good compromise or consensus.
Number Two : You're the ST/GM/DM and you're pretty miserable.
Why does this suck? : Well, you're unhappy. You should be having a good time, too. And besides, an unhappy ST makes for unhappy players. Work gets deferred, the game might be half-assed, or you can take it out on your players in other ways.
How to tell if it's happening? : Are you tired before you're about to run? Do you often put off making the game in order to do other stuff? Do you resent your players for asking you to run? Do you feel too harried, or feel like your players are running you through the ringer? You could probably be getting more out of this.
How do we fix it? : Well, lots of things can make you frustrated. For me when I was running Mage, it was a number of things, and I wasn't honest with myself about it for a while and eventually ended up resenting some of my players. So, first of all, if you're not excited about running for whatever reason, step back and be honest with yourself. Are you running too often? You may need more time to come up with a game and still have time for other things in your life. Maybe spread the sessions out a little. Did the game turn into something that you didn't expect? The game my players wanted to play wasn't the game I wanted to run, and in the end, I stopped doing anything at all. You might need to talk to your players and see if you can make compromises in the game style - occasionally run some themes and then others. In the end, if you can't be happy running the game, you might need to step down.
Number Three : You're railroading.
Why does this suck? : It depends, to be honest. Some players are perfectly happy going from plot point to plot point. As I've heard it said, sometimes a railroad is fine if the landscape is great and the accouterments aboard the train are pleasant. The harder you stick to the railroad, though, the less agency your players have, and that can be frustrating. If they're a bunch of nuclear powered murder machines with a solar powered spaceship, for example, and you get cross when they fight back against some muggers you wrote into the script, they're probably going to be pretty befuddled.
How to tell if it's happening. : Look at your game. If your players do something you don't expect, what do you do? It takes a lot more effort to run a game that might potentially go off the rails, so if you don't have anything planned, do you try to put them back on? Does it get a little ridiculous? Do you get frustrated when players don't take your plot hooks or try to do something you didn't expect? If you chew out your players for going off topic, spending time role-playing, or trying to get them 'on task', you might be railroading them.
How do we prevent it or fix it? : Hard work. First, ask your players what they want to do a little ahead of time. Like, what kind of game they're interested in and what their characters would intend on doing. You can fill in empty spots of your game that way, so you're not caught as off guard. Have some pre-generated characters written up in broad templates so that they can take a role in the story should you need someone on short notice. Be clear about what kind of game you'd like to be running and make sure everyone's on board in the beginning so you're not trying to force one game while players obliviously go in the direction they'd prefer, and be willing to flesh out your game environment a little ahead of time so there's actually terrain to walk around in.
Many players are perfectly happy to take ST cues about which direction to go in, as long as it seems interesting and fun. If you and they are on the same page before things ever start, then you're already going in the right direction. Instead of a railroad, try to imagine it as a highway with an off road vehicle. It might get rough once you're off the well-paved road, but at least there's somewhere to drive and the players are equipped to deal with it.
Now, as for my character, I still don't know. I'm not nuts about the story the ST wrote but I want to do something for my PC where I can explore her character a little bit. I wanted a little more freedom in story and I didn't get it. Well, it's actually a joke in our group how little I actually get to play, even, so you might imagine how I feel but it's gotten to the point where the whole group's staring off into space while we're spoken at. I know nobody cares about my PC, but I might go ahead and write some stuff for her just so that I can retire her with a little bit of dignity.
This is what happens when, intentionally or not, the gaming environment turns into what's basically an abusive relationship.
How does that happen?
Number One : Make it personal. Players who have questions, reservations, or problems with something in the game have a problem with you. If they don't like the game, they don't like you. Questioning a ruling or pointing out a rule is undermining your authority.
Why Does This Suck? : This is one of the big ones. If everyone is always having a good time, then there doesn't appear to be a problem. In fact, it may never appear that there's a problem, but what's happening is if people know that you'll take it personally if they speak up about something they're not happy with, they may just not say anything at all and all that resentment tends to fester.
How to tell if it's happening. : Do you have arguments when there's a disagreement about gaming in general? Do you actually get mad? Is there a right answer for every question? Then there's a pretty good chance you're taking criticism a little too personally. Alternatively, if nobody ever has any problems or issues at all, or nobody ever talks about your game afterwards, there's a good change they're afraid to talk to you about it or feel it's not worth the trouble. If, when someone does, it becomes a huge deal that takes up a lot of time, it may not be just the player. I mean, it might. You should ask the other players for their honest opinion about you, and ask what the problem players beef is.
How do we fix it? : Take a step back. Take a really good look at your player dynamics. Are they quiet a lot? If there's a discussion, and you weigh in, do they ever voice an opinion? How do you actually feel? What happens if someone wants to break out a rule book and double check something? Do you feel offended or slighted? Once this starts, it can be difficult for players to trust you again. If you suspect this is the case, try to listen to their opinions and be fair. It's not all about you - they're here to have fun, too. If there's a problem with a ruling, maybe ask the group what they feel is fair in general. You might get a good compromise or consensus.
Number Two : You're the ST/GM/DM and you're pretty miserable.
Why does this suck? : Well, you're unhappy. You should be having a good time, too. And besides, an unhappy ST makes for unhappy players. Work gets deferred, the game might be half-assed, or you can take it out on your players in other ways.
How to tell if it's happening? : Are you tired before you're about to run? Do you often put off making the game in order to do other stuff? Do you resent your players for asking you to run? Do you feel too harried, or feel like your players are running you through the ringer? You could probably be getting more out of this.
How do we fix it? : Well, lots of things can make you frustrated. For me when I was running Mage, it was a number of things, and I wasn't honest with myself about it for a while and eventually ended up resenting some of my players. So, first of all, if you're not excited about running for whatever reason, step back and be honest with yourself. Are you running too often? You may need more time to come up with a game and still have time for other things in your life. Maybe spread the sessions out a little. Did the game turn into something that you didn't expect? The game my players wanted to play wasn't the game I wanted to run, and in the end, I stopped doing anything at all. You might need to talk to your players and see if you can make compromises in the game style - occasionally run some themes and then others. In the end, if you can't be happy running the game, you might need to step down.
Number Three : You're railroading.
Why does this suck? : It depends, to be honest. Some players are perfectly happy going from plot point to plot point. As I've heard it said, sometimes a railroad is fine if the landscape is great and the accouterments aboard the train are pleasant. The harder you stick to the railroad, though, the less agency your players have, and that can be frustrating. If they're a bunch of nuclear powered murder machines with a solar powered spaceship, for example, and you get cross when they fight back against some muggers you wrote into the script, they're probably going to be pretty befuddled.
How to tell if it's happening. : Look at your game. If your players do something you don't expect, what do you do? It takes a lot more effort to run a game that might potentially go off the rails, so if you don't have anything planned, do you try to put them back on? Does it get a little ridiculous? Do you get frustrated when players don't take your plot hooks or try to do something you didn't expect? If you chew out your players for going off topic, spending time role-playing, or trying to get them 'on task', you might be railroading them.
How do we prevent it or fix it? : Hard work. First, ask your players what they want to do a little ahead of time. Like, what kind of game they're interested in and what their characters would intend on doing. You can fill in empty spots of your game that way, so you're not caught as off guard. Have some pre-generated characters written up in broad templates so that they can take a role in the story should you need someone on short notice. Be clear about what kind of game you'd like to be running and make sure everyone's on board in the beginning so you're not trying to force one game while players obliviously go in the direction they'd prefer, and be willing to flesh out your game environment a little ahead of time so there's actually terrain to walk around in.
Many players are perfectly happy to take ST cues about which direction to go in, as long as it seems interesting and fun. If you and they are on the same page before things ever start, then you're already going in the right direction. Instead of a railroad, try to imagine it as a highway with an off road vehicle. It might get rough once you're off the well-paved road, but at least there's somewhere to drive and the players are equipped to deal with it.
Now, as for my character, I still don't know. I'm not nuts about the story the ST wrote but I want to do something for my PC where I can explore her character a little bit. I wanted a little more freedom in story and I didn't get it. Well, it's actually a joke in our group how little I actually get to play, even, so you might imagine how I feel but it's gotten to the point where the whole group's staring off into space while we're spoken at. I know nobody cares about my PC, but I might go ahead and write some stuff for her just so that I can retire her with a little bit of dignity.
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