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I got tired of just eating whatever, and decided I was in the mood for fried rice. Fried rice is a left-overs dish, like pad thai and minestrone soup, so I didn't really feel up to cooking up chicken just to put it in there. Instead, I walked down to the corner store (like a gas station store, but no gas) to see if they had coffee beans (they didn't). I picked up some canned coffee, a 12-pack of lager, and a can of oysters. My choices were salmon (which sounded good), Spam, vienna sausages, and oysters, so I thought I'd go with the latter.

I assumed we had vegetable oil and eggs. Poor assumption!

So, after futzing awhile, I decided I'd just substitute olive oil for vegetable (or my optimal choice, sesame), diced up some green onions and got the soy sauce and minced garlic. First of all, I've never had more trouble with a can in my life. It took several minutes of trying to get the oyster can open, and I lost all the juice, which was fine since the end product tasted enough of oysters as it was. The end result was plenty tasty, to my surprise (and pleasure) and the strong oyster taste was cut with the garlic and a lager from the store (which I chose over coffee for this purpose exactly).

Sesame oil, fried egg, and just a bit of ginger would have made this terrific. I'm super pleased with how it turned out, but it really was critical to use day-old rice. I still had trouble with clumping and actually had to break up some chunks of rice by hand, so if you want to do this at home, I added a little salt and make sure that the rice isn't fresh. Two days old is best, but I got by just fine.