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There's a difference between trying to explain something to one person until they understand it versus trying to explain something to 24 people you don't really know, three times a week. Likewise, there's quite a difference from being an unoffocial tutor and being institutionally responsible for someone's education. Grading's the worst of it. For me, it's a matter of teaching Comp vs. teaching Lit - one of which I'm quite good at and the other is something of a cipher even to myself.
Here's why, though: I wasn't really understanding the process I used to compose a good thesis statement until last year. (I could do it, I just didn't know how I did it, if you follow me.) I don't know anything about grammer. The incoming freshman (mostly) seem to be trying, but I've discovered that 101 is much less about teaching new skills than it is unteaching lazy and/or terrible writing habits, getting students to actually listen to the instructions I'm providing, and understanding why I'm asking them to do what I'm asking them to do.
The question "Why" is easily the most important thing for me, I think. Why am I assigning this reading? Why am I assigning this excercise? Why are you writing this essay? What are you trying to do? What are you trying to learn? What are your goals? Nobody will ask me, so I'm constantly going over why. I'm largely grading on - and this is really weird for me - compliance to instruction. The reason why has been because I'm not sure that students are listening, and they seem to be trying to translate the same 5 paragraph structured non-answer format into every peice of writing, as if they're still trying to advertise certain kinds of writing skills to someone who's got absolutely no interest in ads and is entirely unimpressed.
I spend a lot of time thinking about this. I've gotten incredibly stressed out. I kind of freaked out late on Thursday, which kept me from sleeping until about 1:30 AM. There's an attitude that teaching is simultaneously the thing I should be focusing all my efforts on and that it's substantially less important than my own graduate studies (which I have been seriously neglecting).
I'm slowly getting the hang of it, but it's like taking on a super stressful, brand new job with high stakes that I'm unfamiliar with at the same time I'm doing graduate course work, and it's literally making me physically ill.
Here's why, though: I wasn't really understanding the process I used to compose a good thesis statement until last year. (I could do it, I just didn't know how I did it, if you follow me.) I don't know anything about grammer. The incoming freshman (mostly) seem to be trying, but I've discovered that 101 is much less about teaching new skills than it is unteaching lazy and/or terrible writing habits, getting students to actually listen to the instructions I'm providing, and understanding why I'm asking them to do what I'm asking them to do.
The question "Why" is easily the most important thing for me, I think. Why am I assigning this reading? Why am I assigning this excercise? Why are you writing this essay? What are you trying to do? What are you trying to learn? What are your goals? Nobody will ask me, so I'm constantly going over why. I'm largely grading on - and this is really weird for me - compliance to instruction. The reason why has been because I'm not sure that students are listening, and they seem to be trying to translate the same 5 paragraph structured non-answer format into every peice of writing, as if they're still trying to advertise certain kinds of writing skills to someone who's got absolutely no interest in ads and is entirely unimpressed.
I spend a lot of time thinking about this. I've gotten incredibly stressed out. I kind of freaked out late on Thursday, which kept me from sleeping until about 1:30 AM. There's an attitude that teaching is simultaneously the thing I should be focusing all my efforts on and that it's substantially less important than my own graduate studies (which I have been seriously neglecting).
I'm slowly getting the hang of it, but it's like taking on a super stressful, brand new job with high stakes that I'm unfamiliar with at the same time I'm doing graduate course work, and it's literally making me physically ill.