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Since I don't have anything due tomorrow, I'm taking the day off.
My schedule for the last week has basically been me frantically trying to complete what amounts to an assignment per day. I don't know that I can really speak to the quality of my writing, and it's making me really anxious. Same's true with the rest of the TA posse, really. None of us feel especially good about the quality of our work, and we're all feeling incredibly stressed. I think there's a limit to what I can reasonably do, and I'm a little bit past it - and it's really making me reconsider teaching. Not completely disregard it, but reconsider my expectations.
First, I never really considered whether I wanted to teach composition, and now I know that I don't. I have a tremendous amount of respect for composition instructors, and it hasn't been an entirely negative experience, but it's really not my jam. Several of my peers are doing a Teaching of Writing cert, and I'm not planning on it. I think I've also said this at some point (but I can't really remember) but as much as I'd like to go after a Ph.D, I'm probably not going to right now. The timing's not great, I'd like to get back to writing fiction, and I'd probably have to leave the area. The last one's a deal-breaker. There are good programs in the area, but they're not really the ones I'm interested in and the one I'm interested in is in the process of getting gutted by Gov. Walker, which squeezed a friend of mine who's opinion I value on the issue out of her own program.
Fiction writing's my first love, and as strange as it might sound, I'm fundimentally in the literature program because of fiction. I get something from writing academically, but it's not my only goal or even my main one. I thought very hard about which program I wanted to enroll in and I ultimetly chosen literature over creative writing because I wanted to study the theory, I potentially want to teach theory, and I want to apply theory to my writing on a daily basis. It informs what I do pretty deeply, and I think it's marginally more marketable than creative writing at the academic level. (Though the difference is pretty small, and I suppose that there's work in writing workshops, but I'm not honestly very certain.)
This year hasn't been very good to me. My classes are alright, I guess, but they're not what I'm into, they're not my focus, and so my depth of knowledge surrounding the subject matter in the courses is pretty shallow. They're required courses. I'm not bringing anything new or impressive to the table in this environment. I'm teaching two sections of 102 Comp next semester, and the only bright side I'm feeling to that situation is that I'm completely in charge of the syllabus and work flow - and that as the semester progresses, the weather will nicer. There's a very good chance that I'll be starting my thesis officially during Spring, and whether I'll finish during the Summer semester or wait until Fall hasn't been decided yet (though I'll have to make the choice fairly soon.)
My schedule for the last week has basically been me frantically trying to complete what amounts to an assignment per day. I don't know that I can really speak to the quality of my writing, and it's making me really anxious. Same's true with the rest of the TA posse, really. None of us feel especially good about the quality of our work, and we're all feeling incredibly stressed. I think there's a limit to what I can reasonably do, and I'm a little bit past it - and it's really making me reconsider teaching. Not completely disregard it, but reconsider my expectations.
First, I never really considered whether I wanted to teach composition, and now I know that I don't. I have a tremendous amount of respect for composition instructors, and it hasn't been an entirely negative experience, but it's really not my jam. Several of my peers are doing a Teaching of Writing cert, and I'm not planning on it. I think I've also said this at some point (but I can't really remember) but as much as I'd like to go after a Ph.D, I'm probably not going to right now. The timing's not great, I'd like to get back to writing fiction, and I'd probably have to leave the area. The last one's a deal-breaker. There are good programs in the area, but they're not really the ones I'm interested in and the one I'm interested in is in the process of getting gutted by Gov. Walker, which squeezed a friend of mine who's opinion I value on the issue out of her own program.
Fiction writing's my first love, and as strange as it might sound, I'm fundimentally in the literature program because of fiction. I get something from writing academically, but it's not my only goal or even my main one. I thought very hard about which program I wanted to enroll in and I ultimetly chosen literature over creative writing because I wanted to study the theory, I potentially want to teach theory, and I want to apply theory to my writing on a daily basis. It informs what I do pretty deeply, and I think it's marginally more marketable than creative writing at the academic level. (Though the difference is pretty small, and I suppose that there's work in writing workshops, but I'm not honestly very certain.)
This year hasn't been very good to me. My classes are alright, I guess, but they're not what I'm into, they're not my focus, and so my depth of knowledge surrounding the subject matter in the courses is pretty shallow. They're required courses. I'm not bringing anything new or impressive to the table in this environment. I'm teaching two sections of 102 Comp next semester, and the only bright side I'm feeling to that situation is that I'm completely in charge of the syllabus and work flow - and that as the semester progresses, the weather will nicer. There's a very good chance that I'll be starting my thesis officially during Spring, and whether I'll finish during the Summer semester or wait until Fall hasn't been decided yet (though I'll have to make the choice fairly soon.)