Loathe is too strong a word, really, as is dread. It is more along the lines of a heavy sigh that I expect to log onto my communication tool (which crashes about once a day for reasons which are not made immediately manifest), because it is somehow password log on day again and there are a host of people that have forgotten their password from the last week (or otherwise had their lack of computer knowledge cause a general failure to really understand the full scope of password resets. This is not, I assert, their fault. Some of these processes really don't make any sense and every instruction for user help refers them to a website they can't get to or to us. There is really only one path for them.).

I had a good weekend. Saturday was relaxing and Fallout 3 ate most of the day. Sunday was productive and entertaining. There was a building, and we discovered what it was. On the way, we learned the meaning of 'teamwork'. That might actually be a movie trailer, so if I've confused my weekend with Hollywood again, I apologize.

Still, I have a new comforter and I finally have a coffee pot and grinder. I did not forget coffee filters, either. I know where my priorities lie, so it's that first and critical life infrastructure second. Really, it is a matter of opportunity , as I'm sure becomes apparant. If they mailed cars to ones doorstop, then I'm sure I would have one. Why I haven't purchased appropriate sleeping equipment would typically be qualified the same way, except that I suspect that they will, actually, mail you a bed. I have so far gotten around this by asserting that it is a matter of cost coupled with type. I guess I have become exceedingly particular on my actual sleeping materials, as I am wont to do. Beggers cannot be choosers, but I guess as soon as they become work-a-day Johnnies, they get choosy as shit. In the meantime, I am living on borrowed time, or air mattress as the case may be.

I am behind, super behind on my novel. I have come to terms with that, but I also wrote a thousand words before lunch today, so I think there's hope. It is probably going to be an issue like all of my stories for class. Thousands of words in a night, or more, hammering something out before the deadline. Where are other people at? 10k or more? Well, oh well. It is only a race if I win it, otherwise I am just asserting the competitiveness stifles the creative spirit.

Crickey. I better get to work.

atolnon: (Default)
( Jun. 8th, 2008 04:57 am)
I do this on Xanga, that is, report on the couple of days that I don't normally post on because I've been afk. I've experienced a few really odd things, played in one game, and skipped one that I really wanted to go to. Anyhow, I guess it was enough that I felt I needed to post something about it. I think this is going to be one of those shotgun posts before bed. The shot goes everywhere; I hope I tag something that's interesting to you.

Days that I get off work, well, I'm almost totally useless. I go to sleep in the 8:30 or 9 and wake up at 2:30 or 3, feeling like I ought to be dead. I couldn't get a haircut this Friday, and somehow that dealt a serious emotional blow to me. After I returned defeated, I sulked, then ate dinner. Sorry to the people that I told I'd go out to; I honestly felt like I had a hard time moving. I eventually went out to drink with Matt and Anthony for a bit, I guess from 8 to 3, but the drive was short, and I spent more time then not sitting out on the porch of my friends place who lives, surprisingly now, about 5 minutes away. I spoke for a while with Madelyne, Matt's girlfriend, who I thought hated me, but very kindly apologized, and watched at Matt and she drove off.

After a long pause, I decided I'd sit inside for a while. I tried the door, but I'd been locked out, so I just went home. Listened to music and watched the sun rise by myself again. What are you going to do? Watch the sun rise every morning, feel a little stirring in your breast, a little twist in your gut, a little sad by yourself again, and smile; this morning, at least, belongs to you before you finally rest. And I do.

Today I woke up at 3, put on my clothing and went in to get my haircut, making an appointment just under the wire. An hour later, I leave with much shorter hair, and I feel a lot better. Went  to the last game wormtongue game before I leave, and everyone seemed glad to have me. It was stated more then once that people were sad I was leaving, which actually surprised me, and made me feel a little better about it. Not that I'm happy to leave my friends behind, but I'm glad they care about me. I guess I've had more of an impact all this time then I really thought. Hm.

The game was good, with a few exceptions. I was glad to see everyone again.
As much as these days make me sad and uncomfortable due to circumtances, there are certain things I'll never be able to forget. They're profound. It's hard to put them into words.
Tags:
.

Profile

atolnon: (Default)
atolnon

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags