![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Some misc thoughts on what's otherwise a really gorgeous day. Seriously.
The thing that really gets me, though, is some of the drama in my life recently. I don't normally talk about stuff like that, since it basically invites drama onto my journal; something I've been very wary about since I was in high school, but it's really more of a leadup into something that I see as a bigger problem in society in general. Besides the typical workplace shit I've come to expect, I hear a lot of secondhand stuff that seems to indicate that women in vulnerable positions tend to end up staying vulnerable because it's hard for them to find someone to trust.
This isn't your typical 'why don't girls like nice guys' screed (which is a massive pet peeve of mine, and something I've gone out of my way to lay into people I don't even know for, which is pretty unusual for me) but rather that the people who lament about girls not liking nice guys tend to be pretty rotten individuals in the first place, and a lot of people who masquerade as friends are really just looking for something. As a guy, I think it's a lot easier for me to find real, supportive friends amoung both sexes because I don't have to be as worried that someone's trying to take advantage of my emotional state. From what I've seen, though, I think a women would be much better off to limit herself to either supportive female friends, or male friends whose intentions she knows. I've just seen too many women I've known fall into a vulnerable position and suddenly feel like they're surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves.
This is especially touchy because just like Mr. "Why Don't Girls Like Nice Guys", Mr. "So, I Hear You're Not Dating Anyone" or Mr. "You've Had Sex In The Past, So I Assume You Put Out" don't really realize that what they're doing is disingenuous and predatory. In many ways, they're just following the social cues they're told to expect and don't see anything wrong with their actions. Being turned down makes the women the bad 'guy' in the scenerio, because she's being unreasonable, unfair, or close-minded. I feel that this is basically the patriarchy at work, a social construction designed to make women feel worse about themselves and put them in a disadvantaged situation. To society, women are prey. If you're up, it'll try to knock you down. If you're down, it'll keep kicking you. Seeing people I've known and otherwise like and respect from high school to post-college engage in this behavior is dissipointing to say the least.
( Meeting Fallout )
The thing that really gets me, though, is some of the drama in my life recently. I don't normally talk about stuff like that, since it basically invites drama onto my journal; something I've been very wary about since I was in high school, but it's really more of a leadup into something that I see as a bigger problem in society in general. Besides the typical workplace shit I've come to expect, I hear a lot of secondhand stuff that seems to indicate that women in vulnerable positions tend to end up staying vulnerable because it's hard for them to find someone to trust.
This isn't your typical 'why don't girls like nice guys' screed (which is a massive pet peeve of mine, and something I've gone out of my way to lay into people I don't even know for, which is pretty unusual for me) but rather that the people who lament about girls not liking nice guys tend to be pretty rotten individuals in the first place, and a lot of people who masquerade as friends are really just looking for something. As a guy, I think it's a lot easier for me to find real, supportive friends amoung both sexes because I don't have to be as worried that someone's trying to take advantage of my emotional state. From what I've seen, though, I think a women would be much better off to limit herself to either supportive female friends, or male friends whose intentions she knows. I've just seen too many women I've known fall into a vulnerable position and suddenly feel like they're surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves.
This is especially touchy because just like Mr. "Why Don't Girls Like Nice Guys", Mr. "So, I Hear You're Not Dating Anyone" or Mr. "You've Had Sex In The Past, So I Assume You Put Out" don't really realize that what they're doing is disingenuous and predatory. In many ways, they're just following the social cues they're told to expect and don't see anything wrong with their actions. Being turned down makes the women the bad 'guy' in the scenerio, because she's being unreasonable, unfair, or close-minded. I feel that this is basically the patriarchy at work, a social construction designed to make women feel worse about themselves and put them in a disadvantaged situation. To society, women are prey. If you're up, it'll try to knock you down. If you're down, it'll keep kicking you. Seeing people I've known and otherwise like and respect from high school to post-college engage in this behavior is dissipointing to say the least.
Tags:
